Just filled to overflowing.....

Today - we got to hear/see each of the kids individually and that is a wonderful thing.  At this point, it is so much fun to see that our kids are "on there way" and enjoy from afar their antics - hear about their successes and their challenges.

I suppose it is a selfish thing, but there are times when I still feel like I could have been a better parent.

I truly love each and every one of our kids and their spouses.  I pray that the Lord gives me wisdom on the relationships with each one.  It really isn't about me, it is about them and how the Lord is working in their lives.

Random Acts of Kindness Hit 595 Circlewood.....

Walking into the kitchen was so very sweet - - - there was Laura and she had bought me 18 roses.  So unexpected and so very nice.  No occasion - what a blessing.   Yes, what a blessing.

Parenthood is a very interesting road.  So blessed to have four kids - love them all - they are so wonderfully different and such a blessing.

As each of the boys were born, I was reminded over and over "A son is a son until he takes a wife and a daughter is a a daughter all of your life".   I didn't think that applied to me.  And yet, down deep, I knew it was true - and I guess that is why the past 6 - 7 years were difficult.  Letting go - - - not easy when you spend so much time pouring your love and time into each of your kids.  The realization that as a parent, your boys were flying the coup and starting their own lives.  Interestingly enough - the hard part was letting them go when they moved away to college - but when the first two got married - it wasn't hard at all to let them go to their new wives - as I knew they would be happy and the original pain had changed to the joy of knowing that they were happy.

Yes, Laura will ultimately fly the coup - but I love our relationship and know that we will always be close.  We understand each other and have a wonderful bond.

Can't believe she is turning 21 in a few short weeks.  I am excited to see what the Lord has planned for her.  Still praying for her husband to be - - -

In the meantime - - - I have vase full of gorgeous red roses to enjoy - a random act of kindness.

Thanks Laura - love you and so very proud of you - you made my day!

Little and often is a good thing....

Many years ago, when our kids were young - we went over to England to see Granny & Paul, Wendy & family.  Since Paul & Wendy started having kids 10 years ahead of us - we could see what it would be like to have somewhat grown kids.  Our kids were (and still are) our lives.  In many ways we micromanaged their comings and goings and the thought of the kids growing up and not living with us was.....foreign.  Of course as the kids grow up - they became more and more independent.

I think it was James Dobson from Focus on the Family that said that with children, you hold them tightly in your hands through the first 10 years of their lives.  Then you start to open your hand allowing them more and more independence until they are able to fly the nest to be responsible adults.

Thus, as the kids got older and older - micro managing wasn't as much an option.  As they got busier and busier - their lives became their own.  To say that the start of empty nest was rough - for me - is an understatement.  I thought that I wouldn't feel the empty nest until they were all out and on their own - NOT.  As each of them left, the hole in my heart grew bigger.  I was on the verge of tears - almost always!  Going into the store would bring back our "store times" - and the list goes on and on.

Long story short - I think I was a mess for probably four years - and then the Lord showed me that there is life after kids.  Fortunately, our marriage was/is strong and my sweet loving husband helped me through it.  The day that I met (formerly, actually met Amy at our house at a party) Amy & Jackie in Akron - I looked at both the couples and the Lord gave me such a peace about letting go.  Seriously, I knew that their needs could only be met by these sweet young ladies.  And I knew this would be the same for Paul and Laura when they ultimately meet their life partners.

Three years and two weddings later (after I met Amy & Jackie) - I can honestly say that I absolutely love and adore each of our children (and their wives) - and that I don't have a need to see them every day - I just need to see them and get a hug every once in a while.  I know that they are both happily married and I can rest that they are happy.  Thus, seeing Paul & Wendy many years earlier settling into empty nest finally made sense to me.

I always heard how great it is to be a grandparent - - - -all in good time.  But - the big secret is, that there is life after raising kids - and it is yet another chapter - and I love it.  Thanks to my faith in Jesus and to my best friend and lover - my husband of 27 1/2 years I can enjoy life after raising kids - I just want to hear from them every once in a while - and a hug.

Each Path is different.....

As mother's day approaches, I am reflecting on how my mom has influenced my life and also my road in motherhood.

My mom is turning 90 this year and she has been the spiritual leadership/prayer warrior in my life.  She is full of fun and has so much wisdom.  I love her and so appreciate our daily phone calls and bi-monthly visits.  Every day I realize more and more how the Lord has given me a mom that has so loved me and impacted my life.    I have joked that she didn't prepare me for life, as she is so wonderful and I thought that everyone was like her - only to get to college and find friends that were not so lucky with their moms.  She knows how to let go and not judge me and most importantly, has always prayed for me.

I, on the other hand still have so much to learn from her.  Motherhood is such a wonderful privilege as well as daunting.  As the kids were growing up, I often felt overwhelmed with all the homework, dealing with sickness and allergies that I hadn't experienced myself as well as a home business.  I think that I was a victim of my personality.  Looking back, I think I could have done so many things differently.

I always attempted to make each of the kids feel special as I felt they were.  

Having said all that - even though I sometimes wished that our kids weren't asthmatic and struggling in school - until now I never realized how truly blessed we were - as yes our kids struggled in school, which taught them to work hard in life and yes, they all had asthma and allergies, endlessly at the doctors - which still can be a challenge - but they can all live very normal lives.  I have known that we have been truly blessed with our four kids since the day we found out that we were pregnant with each of them.  (especially after having a couple of miscarriages).

Through it all - raising our kids was such a joy!!!!  Love and proud of them all!!!

Each parent has different paths in their rearing years - with different victories and different struggles.  When you have the Lord and are a couple that loves each other throughout - you can make it.  

Recently, I have seen a very small picture of different parents struggles and it has given me such admiration for them in so many ways.  

I am seeing a dad working with his son, side-by-side tirelessly helping him to learn a job - a dad who looks past his sons disability (downs syndrome) believing that he can do anything he sets his mind to.  Very positive, encouraging words, joking with him and prodding him along to get the work done - and again tirelessly.

I see a family that loves their daughter (Williams Syndrome) and helping her start a business selling bracelets.  They understand that she doesn't like loud noises and walk out of restaurants at the sight of a balloon, a fear that is part of the syndrome.  They gear their life around some of her fears, never complaining.

My sister, her son (autistic) she works tirelessly finding jobs, friends, reads to him, plays games that he likes.  One time her phone called me by mistake - and I listened in to her conversation with him (she didn't know I was listening) and it was so sweet.  It made me cry.  She was driving him around and they were talking and I could see her giving him such respect in how she treated him.

I don't know the behind the scenes, only that these parents love their kids and have the long term challenges.  It certainly makes our challenges seem a drop in the bucket.

Again it is such a privilege to have the title of "Mom" - and a joy.  When I was growing up - my mom made the job looked so easy.....

22 Reasons we love Paul

As Paul's birthday approaches - 22 reasons we love him -
1.  Paul is the ultimate diplomat!
2.  Very true to his siblings - if you have a secret, Paul is the one to trust.
3.  Great on computer.
4.  Very Kind
5.  Has always been a very good, hard working student.
6.  Hard worker and cares about quality of work
7.  His knowing smile.
8.  His ability to fix any problem I have on the computer and doing so very patiently.
9.  I love to cut his hair and appreciate that he trusts me to do so.
10. I love to make smoothies for him when he visits and that he appreciates it.
11. Love how he became the goalie in high school and did great!
12. He is tenacious.
13. Watching him ride his Go Cart around the yard after school.
14. Loved watching him build computers and his total understanding of all the parts that it took.
15. Very family oriented.
16. His friendships from kindergarten.
17. Love his hugs
18. Love his smile
19. Love his independence.
20. Love that he knows where he is going and working hard towards his goals.
21. That he will work on his car, whatever it takes.
22. Grateful and privileged that the Lord gave us Paul 22 years ago!

20 Reasons I love Laura

With Laura turning 20 - it is fun to write down some of the many reasons that Laura is special.

1.  As she will tell you when I tell her she is my favorite daughter, "I am your only daughter!"
2.  Her relationship with Jesus.
3.  She knows her mind and is her own person.
4.  Her ability to train dogs and get their respect.
5.  Her artistic abilities - that range from photo's, photoshop, to drawing.  She has an eye for it.
6.  Her family loyalty
7.  Her smile - dad and I would fight over who brought her tea in the morning - no matter what time  you wake her up - to see that lovely smile.
8.  Her friendship with Joy since kindergarten.
9.  Her thoughtfulness - in so many ways
10. I love sharing tea with her
11  Her sense of humor - and ability to have fun.
12. I love how we can be in the same room, and text each other.  :-)
13. Always loved the "car time" with her.
14. I love Laura's independence
15.  Her love for animals.  I remember when one of the boys friends ran over a garden snake with the tractor in the side lot, and she wanted me to take it to the vet.  It was then that she figured out that she better start a pet fund to pay for her animals.  :-).
16. I love her love for life.
17. Her love for Sci-Fi (including Dr. Who)
18. Her kindness in helping me and knowing when I need it
19. When she makes lemon curd.
20. That she is our daughter!

The Second Wedding....and Ohio Reception

We had the privilege to travel to Devon, PA for Chas & Jackie's wedding the last weekend in May.  Another wonderful start to two young lives!!  The wedding was beautiful!   Being a distant wedding, we could look around and see the people that help to mold Jackie's life and so many of Chas & Jackie's friends that were/are so special.  A couple weeks later in Ohio, we were able to see many of the people that helped to mold Chas's life at the Ohio reception.  Again I looked around and was so blessed to see how God brought so many people into our lives as the kids were growing up and their influence on our kids lives.

I look forward to see what God has planned for their lives!