Many years ago, when our kids were young - we went over to England to see Granny & Paul, Wendy & family. Since Paul & Wendy started having kids 10 years ahead of us - we could see what it would be like to have somewhat grown kids. Our kids were (and still are) our lives. In many ways we micromanaged their comings and goings and the thought of the kids growing up and not living with us was.....foreign. Of course as the kids grow up - they became more and more independent.
I think it was James Dobson from Focus on the Family that said that with children, you hold them tightly in your hands through the first 10 years of their lives. Then you start to open your hand allowing them more and more independence until they are able to fly the nest to be responsible adults.
Thus, as the kids got older and older - micro managing wasn't as much an option. As they got busier and busier - their lives became their own. To say that the start of empty nest was rough - for me - is an understatement. I thought that I wouldn't feel the empty nest until they were all out and on their own - NOT. As each of them left, the hole in my heart grew bigger. I was on the verge of tears - almost always! Going into the store would bring back our "store times" - and the list goes on and on.
Long story short - I think I was a mess for probably four years - and then the Lord showed me that there is life after kids. Fortunately, our marriage was/is strong and my sweet loving husband helped me through it. The day that I met (formerly, actually met Amy at our house at a party) Amy & Jackie in Akron - I looked at both the couples and the Lord gave me such a peace about letting go. Seriously, I knew that their needs could only be met by these sweet young ladies. And I knew this would be the same for Paul and Laura when they ultimately meet their life partners.
Three years and two weddings later (after I met Amy & Jackie) - I can honestly say that I absolutely love and adore each of our children (and their wives) - and that I don't have a need to see them every day - I just need to see them and get a hug every once in a while. I know that they are both happily married and I can rest that they are happy. Thus, seeing Paul & Wendy many years earlier settling into empty nest finally made sense to me.
I always heard how great it is to be a grandparent - - - -all in good time. But - the big secret is, that there is life after raising kids - and it is yet another chapter - and I love it. Thanks to my faith in Jesus and to my best friend and lover - my husband of 27 1/2 years I can enjoy life after raising kids - I just want to hear from them every once in a while - and a hug.
I think it was James Dobson from Focus on the Family that said that with children, you hold them tightly in your hands through the first 10 years of their lives. Then you start to open your hand allowing them more and more independence until they are able to fly the nest to be responsible adults.
Thus, as the kids got older and older - micro managing wasn't as much an option. As they got busier and busier - their lives became their own. To say that the start of empty nest was rough - for me - is an understatement. I thought that I wouldn't feel the empty nest until they were all out and on their own - NOT. As each of them left, the hole in my heart grew bigger. I was on the verge of tears - almost always! Going into the store would bring back our "store times" - and the list goes on and on.
Long story short - I think I was a mess for probably four years - and then the Lord showed me that there is life after kids. Fortunately, our marriage was/is strong and my sweet loving husband helped me through it. The day that I met (formerly, actually met Amy at our house at a party) Amy & Jackie in Akron - I looked at both the couples and the Lord gave me such a peace about letting go. Seriously, I knew that their needs could only be met by these sweet young ladies. And I knew this would be the same for Paul and Laura when they ultimately meet their life partners.
Three years and two weddings later (after I met Amy & Jackie) - I can honestly say that I absolutely love and adore each of our children (and their wives) - and that I don't have a need to see them every day - I just need to see them and get a hug every once in a while. I know that they are both happily married and I can rest that they are happy. Thus, seeing Paul & Wendy many years earlier settling into empty nest finally made sense to me.
I always heard how great it is to be a grandparent - - - -all in good time. But - the big secret is, that there is life after raising kids - and it is yet another chapter - and I love it. Thanks to my faith in Jesus and to my best friend and lover - my husband of 27 1/2 years I can enjoy life after raising kids - I just want to hear from them every once in a while - and a hug.
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