I was asked the other day, "do you find that you don't have anything in common with your husband?". This question was from a fellow - almost empty nester. It made me realize how important it is "to keep your marriage current".
Funny.....once upon a time, you fell in love and got married to build a life together. Then the kids come... what happens next is up to the couple and probably more importantly - up to the wife. Yes, you pour yourselves into the kids - but to what expense? Kids today, are the centerpiece of the marriage. What is wrong with that? Your marriage should be the centerpiece! Your kids will be happier that way!
No, it is not easy to keep your spouse at the center. Take time to have dates - even if it is to put the kids to bed early and have a dinner together. Keep that flame going! By the way, if you have young children - there is no reason that they need to be up past 8:00 pm. Have your husband put them to bed and read to them while you take a relaxing bath.
I suppose this is my soapbox - WOMEN - don't throw yourself so much into your kids that you forget your husband!!!! Yes, it is one more responsibility - but well worth it.
The best advice I ever got was, "don't do any more children activities then your marriage can bare". For me, it was to do as many child activities that were away from home, during the day when my husband was at work. Yes, sports are important, but do each of the kids need to be on three different teams at the same time? The family needs to be together in the evenings and that includes the forgotten family dinner.
My goal was to be home when my husband got home from work and be in the home when he was home in the evenings and weekends. That also means that phone calls left for the day when my husband was at work. When your husband is home - he deserves to have the whole you. That really isn't a lot to ask when he goes out to work for your family every day.
Having said all the above - I not only had the kids, but always had a business out of our home. A blessing and a curse - more a blessing. I won't go into details, but I did work as well as a stay at home mom. One more thing to balance.
I will finish with ... "keep your marriage current". It is very unfair to that wonderful man you married, not to give him your best - as he fights for you everyday out in the world.
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